


A whale of a time

by lazyphannie



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-22 12:30:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22949542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazyphannie/pseuds/lazyphannie
Summary: Dan's horny and Phil's still sleeping.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	A whale of a time

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i wrote this and remembered someone sending me a meme about how whales fuck with a buddy to hold them up, but then after i finished writing i searched it up and read some stuff about how apparently when this happens they flip the female over and it's basically a fish threesome so please dont come for me and my inaccurate whale fact i beg  
> If you wanna pop on over to my tumblr [alazyphannie](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/alazyphannie) i have a feeling I'll be doing more shit on there

There’s a soft morning sunlight filtering in through the gap in the curtains. Dan’s watching as the specks of dust drift into it, appearing to float through the air like tiny beings, before drifting out of the light and disappearing forever. 

The suns beating down in front of his face, and he wants to close his eyes to get away from it. The land of the sleeping whispering for him to come back. Join Phil in that cocoon of warmth and slumber. But he can’t. 

Honestly, he doesn’t actually want to. The morning sun feels blissful on his face, and Phil’s arm is wrapped around his waist cushioning him against his chest. And he can hear the drone of morning traffic below him that’s telling the whole city it’s time to wake up. But most importantly. He has an erection that aches to be touched. 

Phil’s still snoring softly behind his ear. The light breaths that escape his mouth make Dan shiver as they land against his neck. He wants Phil to wake up, but there’s also that part of him that wants him to keep sleeping. See how far Dan could get.

Like a game.

That was what he wanted. To see just how far he could go before Phil woke up. It felt naughty. Obviously it wasn’t. He was allowed to touch himself. But it had been a while since he’d touched himself with Phil in the room, and even longer since he’d done it without Phil knowing. 

He shuffled a little. His hand reaching for one of their decorative pillows lying on the floor that normally covered their bed, except for when they were sleeping. He was trying very hard to not wake Phil up with his body leaning out over the side of the bed.

He managed to grab the pillow, and his hand brought it down to his crotch, where he pressed it against himself. The smallest amount of pressure at first, but he tightened the grip, his eyes closing momentarily at the stimulation. 

The pillow was pushed between his thighs, as he had squeezed them together tightly. His hand still stayed there, pressing ever so lightly against the cushion, before he tilted over a little. Closer to laying on his stomach instead of his side. He felt Phil’s grip loosen from around his waist as he moved, and he paused momentarily to ensure it wouldn’t disturb Phil before he continued to tilt. 

The pillow ended up on the sheets, with his crotch flush to it. One of his hands splayed out over his side of the bed whilst the other one stayed tucked up under his body. His legs stretched themselves further outwards. Allowing him to move easier. He closed his eyes, and pushed his hips into the bed so, so slowly. Letting the slight pressure work it’s way into his core. 

He kept pushing, teasing himself. He wanted to make this good. He pushed until his dick was stuck between his body and the pillow tightly. Then he rocked up a little. 

The movement made him shiver. It felt good. Maybe not as good as what actually touching his dick would feel like, but it was enough for now. That light pressure would get his body aching. 

He continued this slow motion of rocking himself back and forth over the pillow, his hips bucking and pressing back down, over and over again. 

His chest was heaving slightly, and he could hear his breathing grow harsher. Holding his breath, he tried his best to stay as quiet as possible when he pushed himself harder. 

There was a grove in the pillow, due to the pattern of the material that covered it, and every so often it would catch against the tip of his dick through the material, making his thighs clench, and his mouth release what could only be called a pant. 

Phil’s arm was still plastered to his bare back, and his skin felt sticky with sweat where it lay. Phil’s arm was surely clammy too. 

His next rut was harder than he expected. His elbow had slipped a little and gravity had pushed him forward. His hips slammed down, and he tried so hard to stop himself, but he whined. His spare hand forced its way over his mouth before he could make too much sound.

It was too little, too late. Phil’s body twitched. Dan felt it from the arm on his back, tightening slightly before releasing the grip around him, and Dan stilled. 

He looked over to see just as Phil was rubbing his eyes, a yawn escaping his lips. 

Phil smiled at him when he saw him looking. His eyes all squinty like, thanks to his glasses being behind him on the bedside table. 

“Mornin,” Phil mumbled, and Dan was surprised he hadn’t noticed the sweat covering his brow.

Dan shuffled over a little, his lips brushing Phil’s. “Morning,” he said against his lips. 

Phil stretched out his arms, they clicked behind his back and reached out for his glasses. He yawned again. 

Dan was desperate to continue.

“Times it?” Phil asked, picking up his phone once his glasses were on. He still hadn’t noticed the position Dan was in. Or how red his face was. Or the way he kept slowly rocking his hips forward on the bed, being careful not to make the movements too big in order to draw as little attention to it as possible.

Phil was looking at his phone whilst Dan shoved his crotch into the pillow and then pulled back slowly. It was definitely visible from the way the duvet moved around his hips, and how he buried his head into his own pillow to stop any more sounds. He moved his head again to look at Phil. Now he actually wanted him to notice. 

He rutted again. And again. And again. Exhalling his breaths louder and louder. Letting out a moan, here and there, that was done just to get Phil to look at him. It didn’t even work. Phil was still over there. Probably scrolling through twitter or something. It wasn't until Dan reached one of his hands down, and started actually touching himself, did Phil finally look at him. 

And Phil, the bastard, was smiling. In that way you smile when you're trying your hardest not to laugh. Dan groaned, rolling over, away from him. 

“You're so annoying,” Dan mumbled into his hands. Phil actually did start laughing then. Dan joined in. “How long were you waiting for?”

Phil tried to peel back one of Dan’s arms so he could look at him. “Not very long, I just wanted to know what you were doing.”

“I literally hate you.”

Phil managed to get one of his arms off his face, and kissed his nose. “That’s not a very nice thing to say.” Before he moved one his hands down to Dan’s dick. Which was still achingly hard. He cupped it in his boxers lightly, before he awkwardly tried to pull them off. Dan lifted his hips to help, but Phil had to move around slightly to get both of his hands free in order to take them and throw them out of the bed. 

When they were off, Phil climbed over him, his knees resting between Dan's legs as he opened them up for Phil. Dan shivered as Phil used a single finger to trail up from the base on Dan’s dick until it reached his head. Running it through his slit gently. 

“I hate you,” Dan said again, as Phil kept running that finger up and down. Dragging it lightly below his dick, under his balls. Rubbing it against that spot before he got to his rim that made Dan whimper. Phil just watched his face, and Dan tried his hardest to keep the eye contact going, but lost in the end. Closing them when he felt it skim over his hole. Circling lightly before being dragged back up again. 

Phil kissed him then. Deep and hard, and super disgusting thanks to them both just waking up. His tongue worked his mouth open, and Dan felt his teeth nip at his lips. He wrapped both his arms around Phil’s neck. Pulling him down to get them even closer. He pushed Phil over, pressing his body down into the sheets, holding his face. 

Phil snickered and Dan drew away. “What?” he asked. Almost offended that he’d had to pull back from Phil.

“No, no, sorry,” Phil said. Dan tried to go back to kissing him, but pulled up when Phil started laughing again. 

Dan raised his eyebrow at him. 

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just that I remembered that I saw this thing that said whales have like a buddy that holds the female up when they have sex cause otherwise they’d drown,” Phil finally said. Clearly trying his best to stop remembering it.

“What the fuck?” Dan said. 

“I don’t know, I just pictured Bryony holding us up whilst we fuck.” 

“Phil,” Dan nearly screeched. “I don’t want to think about that. Now I’ll be picturing Bryony whilst you fucking pork me.” 

Phil tried to cover his mouth as a loud laugh escaped. And Dan whacked his chest lightly, trying his best to look annoyed instead of losing it. He kept thinking about Bryony as a whale with like weird human pink hair, and them being held up by her. He literally hated everything about that image, wanting to burn it out of his mind. Phil had just given up with pretending it wasn’t one of the dumbest things he’d said in bed and was downright nearly sobbing with how hard he was laughing, and Dan couldn’t help but follow suit. Fucking cackling. 

His ribs hurt by the end of it. Phil’s face looked so dumb as he continued to laugh too, the weird angle Dan was at making everything look way funnier. It was stupid how much he loved this man. Like this wasn’t sexy in any way and yet he was still painfully hard. Even thinking about them as whales hadn’t turned him off. 

They calmed down a little bit. With Phil sitting up to kiss him again, grabbing his face and Dan sniggering into his mouth. “You’re so dumb,” he whispered. And Phil pulled away a little.

“Says you, mister ‘let me just moan like a porn-star to get Phil’s attention even though he just woke up’.” 

Dan threaded one hand into Phil’s hair, and he reached down to push his dick into his other one. He fucked his fist lightly, letting out another ‘porn-star’ moan. That managed to stop them both from thinking about the whale thing, and Phil pulled Dan’s hand off himself so he could do it instead. 

They managed to pull Phil’s pajama bottoms off his legs, and Dan continued to sit on top of Phil’s lap. He could feel Phil pressing into his butt checks every time he moved slightly. He wanted it.

He reached over to dig through the bedside tables middle draw. Pulling out the bottle of lube, and coated his fingers in it. Phil kept tugging at Dan’s dick, as Dan’s fingers worked their way down to rub across his rim, teasing himself slightly, before pushing just the tip of his middle finger in. He had to sit up on his calves in order to get the right angle to keep pushing into himself. Panting as his finger got sucked in. He added another, rubbing the top of it over his rim, fucking it in slowly. 

Phil’s hands were gripping his waist, and he could feel his eyes plastered to his face. Watching as his own eyes kept fluttering closed. Losing himself in the feeling. 

Phil let go of his dick and reached to where he’d dropped the lube on the bed. Slicking his fingers up before tugging Dan’s out of himself and replacing them with his. 

He groaned as Phil sunk in two fingers quickly. He was already loose from himself, so they went in easily. 

“God,” he moaned, as Phil pumped them faster, his arm angling so they would push right against where Dan needed them to touch. He gripped Phil’s shoulders with his hands. His head tilting back as he tried to keep his breathing steady whilst Phil was rubbing that place so perfectly. 

He spread his legs further, his knees moving against the bedsheet as he felt Phil’s third finger brush across him. Phil pushed it into him so slowly, making sure that his other fingers kept stretching out to make room. 

It felt euphoric. It always felt euphoric. Phil had gotten so good at making him feel good after an entire decade, and his body was shaking to prove it. 

Dan kept one hand steady on Phil’s shoulder, whilst the other one tugged at his own hair. 

He could feel his eyes watering as Phil’s fingers kept fucking him. Opening him up, and rubbing against his walls. Precum was leaking from the tip of his dick, and he wanted Phil inside him properly now. His body needy for the sensation of being filled. 

“Phil. Phil,” he panted. And Phil slowed down the maddening pace of his fingers. Instead leaving them pressing against his spot in a way that still made it hard to concentrate. “Phil.”

“Dan,” Phil responded. His voice gravelly and rough from disuse. 

Dan pushed up so that Phil’s fingers slipped out of him, before he grabbed the lube from where Phil left it, and poured more of it onto his hand. He shuffled backwards, so he was perched over Phil’s thighs instead of directly on his lap. Phil’s dick was flushed. The tip of it red and hard, and Dan began to draw his fist down and around it. 

Phil hissed, and Dan looked at his eyes that were half-lidded as he kept stroking him. It was mostly just to get everything prepared so Dan could finally ride him like he wanted to, but making Phil feel good was also fun. He liked drawing out all those hot sounds that made him shiver. Or the way that Phil’s hand’s scrambled to scrunch at the bedsheets when Dan rubbed his thumb just under Phil’s head. 

He was ready. They both were. But Dan wanted to keep drawing this out. He wanted them to stay in bed forever, connected in this way that happened whenever it was just the two of them. 

“Dan. Please,” Phil begged, as Dan kept thumbing at that point. He watched as Phil’s other hand travelled up to tug at his own nipples. Clearly wanting more sensations. Dan’s mouth watered. It was just so hot to watch Phil come undone in that way. “Dan, let me fuck you.”

That was it. Dan pulled his hand away and shuffled forward so his torso was flushed up against Phil’s. His dick trapped between his own stomach and Phil’s chest. He felt Phil’s hand brush against his bum as he managed to line the top of his dick up with Dan’s hole. That blunt pressure, pressing up inside of him slightly. Dan finally began to lower himself. His thighs burning from how slowly he was going. 

He positioned his hands on Phil’s shoulders. Helping himself continue to lower until he finally bottomed out. Phil’s eyes were closed. His mouth slightly open, letting out little puffs of air as he tried to steady his breathing. Dan tried to match it. One of his hands cupping the side of Phil’s face. Drawing him in for a slow, long kiss. They're mouths pressed together, tongues hard but gentle. Dan tugged Phil’s bottom lip with his teeth, pulling it away from his mouth and releasing it. 

Phil’s hands had made their way up into Dan’s hair, tugging, as Dan began to push himself back up. That torturous pace making his legs quake as he brought himself back down, rocking down on Phil. 

Phil groaned as he kept going with his pace. Trying his best to keep in control of all the movement. Phil had always said he was a control freak.

His hands moved back down to Dan’s waist, trying to take over a little bit so he could speed them up, but Dan wasn’t letting him. Instead he stopped moving, and Phil glared at him. 

“Patience,” Dan whispered against his mouth, before bringing himself back up and down again. 

They were getting steadily faster. Dan's thighs seriously burning with the effort to keep himself up. Phil had gone back to tugging at his own nipples, and Dan desperately wanted to bite down on them. Make Phil shake with the pleasure, but his position just didn’t allow for it. 

“Dan,” Phil moaned, as Dan moved with more force, his walls clenching around Phil’s dick. Dan let out a similar sound. Breather, and louder. But still a moan of Phil’s name. 

He had to slow a little. Let himself breath, and calm down. This needed to last, and yet he felt like he’d been at it for hours. He probably had. 

He rested his forehead in Phil’s hair. Breathing in the scent of sweat and his sweet shampoo. Phil seemed to have had enough of the slow pace though. Never one for patience, and he managed to tug Dan off, and push him onto his back, so that he lay over him. 

Dan’s legs were thrown over his shoulders, and he pushed back in. Like some animalistic urge had taken over Phil’s body. Fucking pounding into Dan at a fist clenching, eyes rolling pace. 

He was so close. Phil was hitting just the right spot, and his teeth were gliding against Dan’s throat, right down the pulse point. His arms caging Dan’s head, and Dan could do nothing but grip them as Phil kept going. Faster, and Harder. 

Dan’s mouth couldn’t be stopped, and he just lay there babbling nonsense into Phil’s ear, Phil fucking quaking with the words he was saying. 

“Don’t stop, please Phil,” he said, and Phil didn’t. Would never.

Dan brought one of his hands down to grip himself. Fucking his fist up and down his dick, whilst Phil fucked him. He was so close. Could feel it building intensely. He knew that when this was over he’d have to just lie here and try to grasp back onto reality. 

The waves were simmering in Dan’s stomach, and he could feel them rising and rising. Like the tides of the ocean were inside him and this tsunami of pleasure wanted a release. And Dan, who was only human, was powerless to stop them. 

With his eyes clenching shut, his entire body went rigid. There was a ringing in his ears and he was coming. He was coming. He was coming.

The impact felt like a punch to his stomach, and it just kept going and going. Phil was still panting above him, pushing into him over and over again, and Dan’s hand was still on his dick, keeping everything going until it all felt too much. 

Phil pulled out of him, as Dan pulled his hand away from himself. Smearing the mess over the bedsheets before starfishing his arms out. Gulping in breaths of air. 

His heart was pounding, and he could barely hear anything except for the blood rushing in his ears. 

Phil was still on top of him. Dan’s sweaty thighs pressed up over his shoulders. He tugged them off, and Phil rolled over onto his side, clinging into Dan. He could still feel Phil. Hard up against his hip. His crotch rocking into Dan, clearly trying to reach his own peak.

Minutes passed, and when Dan felt like he could finally breathe again he rolled over, facing Phil. Phil smiled at him, his features horny, but his mouth wide. Like Dan was the best thing he’d ever seen. 

“You okay?” he asked, and Dan laughed. Phil’s voice was so croaky it was nearly impossible to understand him. 

“Yeah.” 

Dan reached down, and whatever Phil was going to say in response got lost. Instead he closed his eyes, and let Dan take care of him. Pumping his fist over Phil’s dick, as Phil’s hips rocked into every movement. Phil looked so beautiful like this. Exhausted, and hot, and about to come.

It was obvious he was close by how his hands scrambled to grab Dan’s pillow, and how his eyes were scrunched closed. His breaths were completely ragged, and Dan brought one of his knees between Phil’s thighs so they would open, allowing his other hand to travel down and press against Phil's perineum. Phil moaned. His arm flinging out across his eyes, and Dan watched as his hips bucked up before he finally let go.

Dan watched as he stilled, his whole body twisting up off the bed, and staying there before he came.

He spilled up and over Dan’s hand, adding to the mess that was already there from Dan. Shaking, and gasping in breaths of air, as he clearly tried to come down. 

When it was all over, he moved his arm off from over his eyes and beamed at Dan. His mouth splitting into what could only be called a smile of glee. He reminded Dan of a kid who had just seen the pile of presents waiting to be opened for their birthday. 

Dan smiled back, his body curling into Phil’s chest. Burying his face there and giggling. Phil was giggling too. Dan could feel it when his chest shook, and he wanted to live in this moment. 

He felt as Phil moved his arm, and Dan looked over to see what he was reaching for. He wasn’t. Instead he patted the bedsheets. “Thank you,” Phil said, and Dan was still watching him, confused. 

Phil laughed at Dan’s expression when he looked back at him. “What are you doing weirdo?”

“Thanking bryony for holding us up whilst we fucked,” he said, looking like it was the most logical thing in the world.

“Oh my god,” Dan screeched. “Shut up, I hate you.” He pulled his body off of Phil’s and collapsed next to him, laughing like a fucking hyiena. 

Phil was laughing just as hard as him now. Their nice moment ruined. 

Just the two of them, laughing like the idiots they were, at some dumb animal fact after they fucked. Yeah, sounded pretty normal to him.


End file.
